These 5 Horror Movies Prove Tourism Is Terribly Overrated
Why leave the country, the state or even the house? You are better at home.
With summer fast approaching, it’s time to buy plane tickets, book accommodations and plan your adventure, right? Bad. Dead. Bad. I suggest you consider the inherent risks before getting too cavalier with your seasonal plans. After all, it’s nearly impossible to become a travel industry cause if you never leave home. And after explaining to you the dangers you will ultimately face, I am sure you will realize that tourism is in fact very overrated.
I can admit that taking a trip to Mexico to see the sights seems like a relaxing way to unwind. But if I learned anything from the cautionary tale The ruins danger lurks where you least expect it. What will you do when you visit Mexico and come across a German tourist looking for his missing brother? Well, you’ll offer to accompany her to the remains of a Mayan temple, of course. But this fateful choice will lead to your ultimate death when you are eaten alive by carnivorous plants. It sounds like a recipe for disaster. So, before it’s too late, cancel your trip. It might just save your life.
If you insist giving in to the evils of tourism this summer, please don’t go rummaging in the caves. It’s just not advised. As the ladies of The Descent quickly learned, caving can take your mind off your troubles for a while. But what will you do if you break a bone and then find yourself attacked by unidentified cave monsters waiting to equip you with a new hole in your throat? Hmmm? “Let’s go caving,” they said. “It will be fun,” they said. Famous last words.
The idea of galloping across Europe has a certain appeal. At least for those unaware of the evils that await unsuspecting tourists. However, if you have seen Hotel, you know that anyone you meet while traveling abroad (or even domestically) may be intent on selling you out to a clandestine organization that allows the ultra-rich to kill for sport. The good news is that you can save yourself from certain death by avoiding wanderlust. Instead, consider starting a new book, learning to crochet, or cheering on a rescue animal.
A trip to Brazil with friends. Fun, right? No. Not funny. Take it from the unsuspecting pals who found themselves a few organs away from a set in Tourists. Unfortunately, they learned too late that giving in to the tourist industry would almost certainly lead to a seemingly nice young man convincing you and your friends to come to his uncle’s house. But the sad truth is there is no uncle. Just an organ harvesting ring with designs on your liver, spleen and kidneys. Yeah. Why not just stay home and enjoy a challenging board game or a movie marathon? It’s probably for the best.
The main lesson of the film High wayis that tourism is an infallible recipe for disaster. Climbing in Croatia seems like a fun time for everyone. But what happens when you can’t resist the urge to throw caution to the wind and climb where you weren’t meant to climb? And even worse, how will you feel when a deranged recluse starts murdering your friends? I suspect you wish you had heeded my warnings and spent your summer at home. You are much less likely to be the target of a violent crime in the safety of your own residence. So, for your safety, please cancel your travel plans and spend the summer revamping your wardrobe or remodeling your kitchen. Staying put is not as exciting as traveling. But what does excitement matter even if you’re dead?